How to Navigate Social Media Boundaries in a Relationship

恋爱中，如何摸清社交媒体的界线

Most of us are uncomfortable talking about these types of interactions because we worry that social media is too frivolous[1] to argue over, but it is important to recognize that social media brings up real feelings, and those feelings do matter.

我们大多数人谈论这类互动时会不太自在，因为我们担心社交媒体太琐碎肤浅，不值得探讨。但社交媒体呈现出了真实的情感，而这些情感绝非无关紧要，认识到这一点是很重要的。

[1]frivolous: A frivolous activity or object is silly or not important rather than useful or serious. 无聊的；不重要的 

I feel like doing something completely frivolous today. 

今天我只想做点儿琐事。

Still, navigating social media boundaries doesn't have to be the colossal struggle we sometimes turn it into.

不过，摸清社交媒体的界线，并没有我们有时想的那么困难。

Prioritize Quality Time Without Social Media

重视没有社交媒体的宝贵时光

The most common social media-related fight I hear from clients is how much time their partners spend on Facebook or Instagram. I hear story after story of couples planning a romantic date night that turns into nothing but chatter about Instagram likes, Twitter favorites and Snapchat views.

我从客户处听到的与社交媒体有关的最普遍问题，是他们的伴侣把太多时间花在Facebook或Instagram上。我一次又一次地听说这样的事情：一对伴侣原计划晚上来一场浪漫的约会，结果除了聊Instagram的“赞”、Twitter的“喜欢”以及Snapchat的点阅量，什么也没干。 34 26832 34 9230 0 0 5687 0 0:00:04 0:00:01 0:00:03 5686span>

You should always make your partner feel more important to you than your phone, so dedicate at least 20 minutes a day to spending screen-free time together. (Scrolling through Facebook while watching television won't cut it.)

你应该永远让伴侣觉得他/她比你的手机重要，所以每天至少要花20分钟时间在一起度过不使用电子设备的时光（一边看电视一边浏览Facebook不算）。

Check In Before You Post

发布之前确认一下

Always prioritize your living, breathing, human partner. This is especially important when it comes to sharing details, photos of the two of you or details of your lives or dates together. Often in relationships, one person is more private than the other, a difference that can lead to fights.

永远把你活生生的、会呼吸的人类伴侣放在优先位置。尤其是在分享细节、你们俩的照片或者你们生活和约会的细节时。在恋爱关系中，通常有一方会比另一方更注重隐私，这种差异可能会导致争吵。

One easy rule to follow: Ask your partner before sharing anything related to your relationship. Simple questions like, "Are you O.K. with my posting this picture of us on our date night?" can go a long way toward heading off[2] arguments. When there isn't agreement, Mr. Gray said to err "on the side of[3] the partner who is more private."

一个很简单的原则是：在分享任何与你们的恋爱关系相关的内容之前询问伴侣。一些简单的问题可以有效避免争吵，比如，“我可以发咱们约会那晚拍的这张照片吗？”格雷认为，如果意见不一致，“要照顾更注重隐私那一方的感受。”

[2]head off: If you head something off, especially something unpleasant, you take action before it is expected to happen in order to prevent it from happening.阻止，防止（尤指不愉快的事）发生

He would ask Congress to intervene and head off a strike.

他将要求国会进行干预，防止发生罢工。

[3]err on the side of:If you err on the side of caution, for example, you decide to act in a cautious way, rather than take risks.宁愿过于…；力求…  

He probably erred on the conservative rather than the generous side.

他可能过于保守，而不是过于宽宏大量。

If you find yourself stuck in oversharing mode, Ms. McCallum offered a great reminder. "The volume of photographs of your relationship that you post on Facebook is not indicative of the success or warmth within that relationship," she said. "Even in this period of heightened social media use, very solid, strong, happy couples quite often choose to not lay their relationships bare on Facebook."

如果你发现自己已陷入过度分享模式，那么你可以听听麦卡勒姆的一个很好的提醒。“你在Facebook上发布的恋爱照片的数量并不能代表你们恋爱关系的成功或温暖，”她说。“即便在如今这个频繁使用社交媒体的时代，非常可靠、牢固、幸福的情侣经常选择不在Facebook上暴露自己的恋爱情况。”

Don't Snoop

不要窥探隐私

Social media also makes it easier to check on your partner's behavior. You don't have to don a trench coat, fake mustache and sunglasses to track your partner across town anymore. You can just grab his phone when he is in the shower. And there's a lot to find too; for some reason, most of us think our online activity is private, but it's shockingly easy to find a treasure trove of[4] information.

社交媒体也让你更容易查看伴侣的行为。你不再需要穿上风衣，戴上假胡子和墨镜，穿过城市跟踪他。你可以在他沐浴时拿起他的手机。你能在他的手机上找到很多信息。不知为何，我们大部分人以为自己在网上的活动无人知晓，但是在手机上很容易找到大量信息。

[4]a treasure trove of sth: a place that is full of something good 丰富的…，…的宝库 

a treasure trove of information 丰富的信息 

Though small, this museum is a veritable treasure trove of history. 

尽管这个博物馆很小，却也是大量史实资料的宝库。

You might consider simply not following each other on social media at all. I have two friends who are a couple. The guy's social media platform of choice is Twitter; his girlfriend prefers Instagram. They purposefully don't follow each other. They trust each other not to do anything inappropriate, and they like not feeling like they're "checking up" on each other. It's a good reminder that your social media lives don't have to converge the same way your real lives do. A little distance is always healthy, in the real world and online.

你们也可以考虑完全不在社交媒体上关注彼此。我有两个朋友是情侣。男方选择的社交媒体平台是Twitter，他女朋友更喜欢Instagram。他们故意不关注彼此。他们相信对方不会做任何出格的事，他们喜欢不互相“监视”的感觉。要知道，你们的社交媒体生活不需要像你们的现实生活那样交融。保持一点距离永远是有益的，不管是在现实世界中还是在网上。