My New Tattoo Made Me An Orphan
Good afternoon! I’m Marsha. I’m 14 and I am guilty of having been a rebellious teenager. I thought my granny didn’t love me very much and I didn’t love her back, but now she is gone and I know that I was sadly mistaken. And I really feel the need to tell this story to somebody.Everything started a little more than a year ago when my parents decided to get a divorce. It was my mom who one day just packed her stuff and left my dad for another man. Apparently she never planned to take me with her, because I had to stay with my dad. He, however, preferred to be a breadwinner, rather than a father, so I had to move in with his mom, Granny Ann.
She always had a very harsh temper and we were like oil and water. For example, whenever I wanted to go to see my friends, she would find some housework for me to do instead. And if I refused to do it immediately, she would ground me by taking away my internet connection. And once, she even slapped me on my wrists because, as she’d put it, I had all thumbs while washing the dishes. Those red marks she left after that happened stayed there for 3 days. Of course, I tried to complain to my dad about her, but he didn’t care much.But then there was a moment… sort of a turning point in our relationship. Gosh, it's so hard to talk about right now. I knew that Granny Ann had always been pissed off by freaks of any kind. Be it a guy with a mohawk or a girl with a facial piercing. So, one day after another of her harsh speeches about how I should behave better, I decided to get my revenge.
I cut all my hair off and colored it pink, which I knew would make Granny Ann really furious. You should have seen her when I came home with my brand new look as she was having a couple of her friends over as guests. She couldn’t start yelling at me or anything in front of other people. But she gave me a look which was probably supposed to show how angry and disappointed in me she was at that moment. I knew I was going to be severely punished and grounded, but it was a worthy sacrifice for her public embarrassment for having such a freak of a granddaughter, I thought.
This didn’t seem to be enough for me and I decided to go even further. Since I was underage, I couldn’t have a real tattoo, but I knew this would make Granny Ann lose her mind. So, I asked one of my classmates who was really good at drawing, to draw a sort of fake tattoo on the back on my neck. It looked pretty much like the permanent one actually, so that when I came home and granny noticed it, she just started swearing at the top of her voice. It was our biggest fight ever. It ended by me shutting the door in granny’s face and locking myself in my room.
I became hysterical and cried really hard. Back then, I felt like both of my parents never ever wanted to have me and that Granny Ann was also really unhappy to have to live with me. I knew I was quite a handful, but I couldn’t understand why the grownups around me couldn’t just love me as I was. I hadn’t even realized that I had fallen asleep. But when I woke up, not having heard Granny Ann fiddling around in the kitchen as usual, I suddenly felt that something might be wrong. I got really worried and when I opened my door, I saw her there lying face down on the floor.
I immediately called my dad but he was out of town, as usual. I wasn’t yet crying while I was dialing the number or waiting for him to pick up the phone, but as soon as I heard his voice, I just burst into tears. It took him a while to finally figure out that something was wrong with his mom. But once he did, he asked me to call 911 and promised to send me some help while he was on his way home. I don’t remember how I called 911. But I will never forget how long those 4 minutes of waiting for the ambulance were for me, sitting next to granny’s body. I didn’t want to believe it, but I was pretty sure that she was already gone.
The turmoil began with all the paramedics, neighbors, and stuff, and suddenly I saw my mom. That must have been the help dad was talking about. Even though I had been blaming her for all of my troubles since she left us and I didn’t want to see her after their divorce, I was glad that she’d come. She hugged me and I felt like I was finally safe. I couldn’t stop saying that it was me who was guilty for how granny had died. I told my mom everything: about the way I would argue with Granny Ann, about my fake tattoo, and our very last argument. She told me that I shouldn’t blame myself for anything, but I couldn’t help but keep thinking about our last evening over and over again. I hated my bad temper, myself, and my stupid fake tattoo.
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LearnAndRecord
2015年2月8日
2019年9月26日
第1692天
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