周围的人突然都结婚了

近日，广西梧州一女子国庆前收到21份结婚请帖，最多一天参加5场婚礼，引发热议。

好像一时间周围的人突然都结婚了。

借（cèng）此（gè）机（rè）会（diǎn），我们就来看看「单身」的好处吧。

无注释原文：

9 Ways Being Single Can Improve Your Life

From: TIME

SEPTEMBER 20, 2018

Being single isn’t always a walk in the park—especially when movies and television shows seem to push the concept that you aren’t truly “complete” until you’ve found a significant other.

People’s single lives are often portrayed as a sort of purgatory they are forced to endure until they find their soul mates. So much so that a 2008 study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology found that single people are often thought to be unhappy by others.

But experts say these stereotypes couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, the 2008 study also found that single people self-reported levels of well-being that was similar to participants in relationships. And there are plenty of benefits that come along with living your life free of a romantic relationship. Here are a few, according to experts:

· Your mind is uncluttered

“Believe it or not, relationships are ‘mentally’ expensive,” says relationship expert and bestselling author, Susan Winter. “Intimacy and partnership takes up a lot of space in our heads. Even though much of this is happening unconsciously, there’s simply a lesser capacity for individually focused thought.”

Winter refers to the time people in relationships inevitably spend worrying about their partners and, at times, ruminating on even the smallest quarrels, as “the price of love.” This sort of stress can inhibit people’s happiness by keeping them from living in the now, she says.

“Emotional discord can be all-consuming as it removes us from the present moment and present situation,” Winter says. “This is true whether the internal turmoil is based on a fight with our mate, or a fear for their health and wellbeing.”

Conversely, “being single is an act of purging the clutter and making room for new thoughts (and dreams) to breathe and grow,” she adds.

· You’re more open to whatever life throws your way

Being single can make people more willing to roll with the punches, experts say.

“It’s almost like you have no choice,” says Dr. Niloo Dardashti, a New York-based psychologist and relationship expert. “When you’re alone you have to be more self-sufficient.”

Free from the constraints of having a partner, people’s lives suddenly become totally and completely their own, according to Dardashti. There’s nobody hindering you from setting out to chase your ambitions. “You’re more likely to take risks and have adventures and have more novelty within your journey,” she says.

· You have time to get in touch with yourself

“People say a lot of times, when they’re in relationships, that they’ve lost themselves,” says Dr. Dardashti. “And that’s largely because we stop doing things independently.”

She says that in relationships, people risk losing touch with themselves because they have less time alone to focus on their own personal development. “When you’re alone, it creates opportunity for being more in touch with something inside of you,” she says.

Dr. Dardashti adds that a common complaint she hears from patients in relationships is that they’re feeling out of touch with their creative sides. When you’re single, she says there’s more room for creativity. “Can you have creativity and be in a relationship? Yes, of course,” she says. “But, for the average person, it’s hard to balance those two.”

· You have a chance to figure out what you want out of life

Dr. Jenny Taitz, clinical psychologist and author of How to Be Single and Happy, looks at being single as your chance to figure out your own personal “mission statement.” She says this is the critical time to figure out who you are and what you stand for.

“When we’re not in a relationship we really have some time to get clear about what matters to us and what we value,” she explains.

And that is the time when you can recalibrate and reflect on lessons learned from past relationships. “Being single is the perfect time to reassess who you are and where you want to be in life,” says Winter. “What changes do you want to make? You now have the time and the ability to focus on the one consistent factor that will create the change you’re seeking– yourself.”

· It can be the best-case scenario

Being in a relationship isn’t always the optimal choice for everyone. “If we think of three options, one option is to be happy when you’re single, another option is to be unhappy in a relationship, and another option is to be unhappily single,” says Dr. Taitz. “Being single and happy seems like the only viable option for someone who’s looking for love and is not finding it.”

In order to truly become happily single, Dr. Taitz suggests practicing mindfulness. “So much of happiness has to do with living in the present moment,” she says. And doing this will enrich enrich other aspects of your life, too.

“You can strengthen your friendships, you can get clear on what’s important to you—you have a lot of freedom. You can design your best day,” Dr. Taitz says. “If you’re spending your single time ruminating about how you’re going to meet someone or what’s wrong with you, you miss that opportunity.”

· It’s a chance to become financially responsible

One of the perks people often attribute to relationships is the ability for both partners to share responsibilities and financial burdens. But experts say that being single can actually incentivize you to be more frugal and financially independent.

“Sometimes when you’re single and don’t share expenses with someone else, you push yourself to advance and to be resourceful because you’re not relying on someone else to cover your expenses,” says Andrea Syrtash, relationship expert and author of He’s Just Not Your Type (And That’s a Good Thing). “This can be a great thing for your career and life.”

· You can make self-care a priority

“Partnership can be wonderful,” Winter says. “We have someone with whom to share our ups and downs, as they do with us. But when we’re single, we’re required to focus on the areas of our lives that need attention.”

She cautions that these areas — such as working out, socializing with friends, taking time to focus on personal aspirations and spending time alone — often get pushed aside in relationships amid our need to assist others. “While single, there’s no distraction that pulls us away from our own self-care and personal development,” she notes.

· You learn to enjoy your own company

Being single doesn’t necessarily need to be synonymous with being lonely. In fact, experts say that you can actually gain an appreciation for time alone.

“It’s liberating to discover that we can enjoy our own company,” says Winter. “Being content in our own company frees us from the need to chase others.”

When we learn to enjoy being alone, we become more selective about the company we choose—spending time with only those who improve our lives and contribute to our wellbeing, according to Winter.

· Your confidence level can skyrocket

“When you’re alone, there’s a strength that almost has to be there,” says Dr. Dardashti. “We tend to sometimes rely on our partners for a lot more than what we need to.” As a result, she says that being single provides an opportunity to tap into one’s inner strengths, which in turn can actually manifest in a greater level of confidence.

“Solitude breeds self-reflection, and self-reflection breed’s confidence,” adds Winter. “Absolute solitude is almost impossible when you’re in a partnership. We always have our partner in our thoughts.”

And this confidence cultivated in solitude will eventually trickle into all of your relationships.

“The best relationships occur when you have a good understanding of your needs, wants and values,” says Syrtash. “Being single allows you to focus on these things. Having this confidence and self-awareness will ultimately serve you in all of your relationships, not just romantic ones.”

- ◆ -

注：中文文本为机器翻译仅供参考，并非一一对应

含注释全文：

9 Ways Being Single Can Improve Your Life

From: TIME

Being single isn’t always a walk in the park—especially when movies and television shows seem to push the concept that you aren’t truly “complete” until you’ve found a significant other.

单身并不轻松——尤其是当电影和电视节目似乎在宣扬这样的概念：在找到伴侣之前你的人生并不真正“完整”。

People’s single lives are often portrayed as a sort of purgatory they are forced to endure until they find their soul mates. So much so that a 2008 study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology found that single people are often thought to be unhappy by others.

But experts say these stereotypes couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, the 2008 study also found that single people self-reported levels of well-being that was similar to participants in relationships. And there are plenty of benefits that come along with living your life free of a romantic relationship. Here are a few, according to experts:

· Your mind is uncluttered 心无杂物

“Believe it or not, relationships are ‘mentally’ expensive,” says relationship expert and bestselling author, Susan Winter. “Intimacy and partnership takes up a lot of space in our heads. Even though much of this is happening unconsciously, there’s simply a lesser capacity for individually focused thought.”

Winter refers to the time people in relationships inevitably spend worrying about their partners and, at times, ruminating on even the smallest quarrels, as “the price of love.” This sort of stress can inhibit people’s happiness by keeping them from living in the now, she says.

“Emotional discord can be all-consuming as it removes us from the present moment and present situation,” Winter says. “This is true whether the internal turmoil is based on a fight with our mate, or a fear for their health and wellbeing.”

turmoil /ˈtɜːmɔɪl/ 表示“混乱；骚乱；动乱”，英文解释为“Turmoil is a state of confusion, disorder, uncertainty, or great anxiety.”举个🌰：

She lived through the turmoil of the French Revolution.

Conversely, “being single is an act of purging the clutter and making room for new thoughts (and dreams) to breathe and grow,” she adds.

相反，“单身是一种‘清除杂物’，为新的想法（和梦想）腾出空间以呼吸和成长的行为，”她补充道。

· You’re more open to whatever life throws your way 你对生活中遇到的任何事情都更加开放

Being single can make people more willing to roll with the punches, experts say.

“It’s almost like you have no choice,” says Dr. Niloo Dardashti, a New York-based psychologist and relationship expert. “When you’re alone you have to be more self-sufficient.”

“这几乎就像你别无选择，”纽约心理学家兼人际关系专家尼鲁·达达什蒂博士（Dr. Niloo Dardashti）说。“当你孤身一人时，你必须更加自立。”

self-sufficient /ˌself.səˈfɪʃ.ənt/ 表示“自立的；（尤指食物）自给自足的”，英文解释为“able to provide everything you need, especially food, for yourself without the help of other people”举个🌰：

The programme aims to make the country self-sufficient in food production and to cut energy imports.

这个项目旨在使国家在粮食上能自给自足，并减少能源进口。

Free from the constraints of having a partner, people’s lives suddenly become totally and completely their own, according to Dardashti. There’s nobody hindering you from setting out to chase your ambitions. “You’re more likely to take risks and have adventures and have more novelty within your journey,” she says.

达达什蒂说，摆脱了伴侣的束缚，人们的生活突然变得完全属于自己。没有人阻碍你出发去实现你的抱负。“你更勇于冒险，在旅途中有更多新奇感，”她说。

· You have time to get in touch with yourself 你有时间和自己接触

“People say a lot of times, when they’re in relationships, that they’ve lost themselves,” says Dr. Dardashti. “And that’s largely because we stop doing things independently.”

“人们经常说，当他们恋爱时，他们迷失了自我，”达达什蒂博士说。“这主要是因为我们不再独立做事。”

She says that in relationships, people risk losing touch with themselves because they have less time alone to focus on their own personal development. “When you’re alone, it creates opportunity for being more in touch with something inside of you,” she says.

她说，在人际关系中，人们有可能失去与自己的联系，因为他们独处的时间更少，无法专注于自己的个人发展。“当你一个人的时候，这会给你创造更多接触内心深处的机会，”她说。

Dr. Dardashti adds that a common complaint she hears from patients in relationships is that they’re feeling out of touch with their creative sides. When you’re single, she says there’s more room for creativity. “Can you have creativity and be in a relationship? Yes, of course,” she says. “But, for the average person, it’s hard to balance those two.”

达达什蒂博士补充说，她从恋爱中的病人那里听到的一个常见抱怨是，他们觉得与自己创造性的一面脱节了。她说，单身时，有更多的空间可以发挥创造力。“你能在恋爱中拥有创造力吗？当然可以，”她说。“但是，对于普通人来说，很难平衡这两者。”

· You have a chance to figure out what you want out of life 你有机会弄清楚你想从生活中得到什么

Dr. Jenny Taitz, clinical psychologist and author of How to Be Single and Happy, looks at being single as your chance to figure out your own personal “mission statement.” She says this is the critical time to figure out who you are and what you stand for.

临床心理学家、《快乐单身守则》（How to Be Single and Happy）一书的作者珍妮·泰兹博士认为单身是你找出自己人生“宗旨”的机会。她说这是弄清楚你是谁以及你代表什么的关键时刻。

表示“（公司、慈善机构、政府部门等的）宗旨说明，职责声明”，英文解释为“a short written description of the aims of a business, charity, government department, or public organization”

“When we’re not in a relationship we really have some time to get clear about what matters to us and what we value,” she explains.

“当我们没有恋爱时，我们真的有一些时间来弄清楚什么对我们重要，什么是我们重视的，”她解释道。

And that is the time when you can recalibrate and reflect on lessons learned from past relationships. “Being single is the perfect time to reassess who you are and where you want to be in life,” says Winter. “What changes do you want to make? You now have the time and the ability to focus on the one consistent factor that will create the change you’re seeking– yourself.”

而那正是你可以重新调整和反思从过去的关系中吸取的教训的时候。“单身是重新评估你是谁以及你想在生活中处于什么位置的最佳时机，”温特说。“你想做什么改变？你现在有时间和能力专注于一个将创造你正在寻求的改变（你自己）的一致因素。”

recalibrate /ˌriːˈkæl.ɪ.breɪt/ 表示“重新调整（看法、期望等）”，英文解释为“to change the way you do or think about something”举个🌰：

You need to recalibrate your expectations.

你需要重新调整你的期望。

reassess /ˌriː.əˈses/ 表示“重新考虑；再次评价；重新评定”，英文解释为“to think again about something in order to decide if you should change the way you feel about it or deal with it”举个🌰：

I've reassessed the situation and decided to stay.

我重新估计了形势后决定留下来。

· It can be the best-case scenario 这可能是最好的情况

Being in a relationship isn’t always the optimal choice for everyone. “If we think of three options, one option is to be happy when you’re single, another option is to be unhappy in a relationship, and another option is to be unhappily single,” says Dr. Taitz. “Being single and happy seems like the only viable option for someone who’s looking for love and is not finding it.”

恋爱并不总是每个人的最佳选择。泰兹博士说：“如果我们考虑三种选择，一种选择是单身时快乐，一种是在恋爱中不快乐，还有一种选择是单身时不快乐。对于一个正在寻找爱情但没有找到的人来说，单身时快乐似乎是唯一可行的选择。”

viable /ˈvaɪ.ə.bəl/ 1）表示“能生长发育的；可以存活的”，英文解释为“able to continue to exist as or develop into a living being”

2）表示“可以实施的；可望成功的”，英文解释为“able to work as intended or able to succeed”举个🌰：

In order to make the company viable, it will unfortunately be necessary to reduce staffing levels.

很遗憾，为使公司继续运转下去，将不得不裁员。

In order to truly become happily single, Dr. Taitz suggests practicing mindfulness. “So much of happiness has to do with living in the present moment,” she says. And doing this will enrich enrich other aspects of your life, too.

为了真正在单身时保持快乐，泰兹博士建议练习正念。“大多幸福与活在当下有关，”她说。这样做也会丰富你生活的其他方面。

“You can strengthen your friendships, you can get clear on what’s important to you—you have a lot of freedom. You can design your best day,” Dr. Taitz says. “If you’re spending your single time ruminating about how you’re going to meet someone or what’s wrong with you, you miss that opportunity.”

“你可以增进友谊，你可以清楚什么对你来说是重要的——你有很多自由。你可以设计你最美好的一天，”泰兹博士说。“如果你把单身时间花在思考如何遇见某人或者你有什么问题上，你会错过这个机会。”

· It’s a chance to become financially responsible 这是一个在经济上负责任的机会

One of the perks people often attribute to relationships is the ability for both partners to share responsibilities and financial burdens. But experts say that being single can actually incentivize you to be more frugal and financially independent.

人们通常认为恋爱关系的好处之一是伴侣双方能够分担责任和经济负担。但是专家说，单身实际上可以激励你更加节俭和经济独立。

Having such easy access to some of the best cinema and theatre is one of the perks of living in Hangzhou.

一些最好的电影院和剧院就近在咫尺，这是在杭州生活所享受的便利之一。

“Sometimes when you’re single and don’t share expenses with someone else, you push yourself to advance and to be resourceful because you’re not relying on someone else to cover your expenses,” says Andrea Syrtash, relationship expert and author of He’s Just Not Your Type (And That’s a Good Thing). “This can be a great thing for your career and life.”

“有时候，当你单身，不与他人分担费用时，你会促使自己进步，变得更机敏，因为你不依赖别人来支付你的费用，”恋爱专家、《他不是你喜欢的类型（这是一件好事）》一书的作者安德里亚·西尔塔什（Andrea Syrtash）说。“这对你事业和生活来说都是一件好事。”

resourceful /rɪˈzɔː.sfəl/ 表示“机敏的；足智多谋的”，英文解释为“skilled at solving problems and making decisions on your own”举个🌰：

She's a very resourceful manager.

她是一位非常有智谋的经理。

· You can make self-care a priority 你可以把照顾自我放在首位

“Partnership can be wonderful,” Winter says. “We have someone with whom to share our ups and downs, as they do with us. But when we’re single, we’re required to focus on the areas of our lives that need attention.”

“伴侣关系可能很棒，”温特说。“有一个人可以和我们分享我们的酸甜苦辣，就像Ta和我们分享Ta的一样。但当我们单身时，我们被要求专注于生活中需要关注的领域。”

She cautions that these areas — such as working out, socializing with friends, taking time to focus on personal aspirations and spending time alone — often get pushed aside in relationships amid our need to assist others. “While single, there’s no distraction that pulls us away from our own self-care and personal development,” she notes.

· You learn to enjoy your own company 学会享受自己的陪伴

Being single doesn’t necessarily need to be synonymous with being lonely. In fact, experts say that you can actually gain an appreciation for time alone.

“It’s liberating to discover that we can enjoy our own company,” says Winter. “Being content in our own company frees us from the need to chase others.”

“发现我们可以享受自己的陪伴是一种解脱，”温特说。"满足于自己的陪伴让我们从追逐他人的需要中解脱出来。"

liberating /ˈlɪb.ər.eɪ.tɪŋ/ 表示“令人感到自由的；令人畅快的；令人自由自在的”，英文解释为“making you feel free and able to behave as you like”举个🌰：

Taking all your clothes off can be a very liberating experience.

脱掉所有衣服能让你感到非常自由自在。

When we learn to enjoy being alone, we become more selective about the company we choose—spending time with only those who improve our lives and contribute to our wellbeing, according to Winter.

温特说，当我们学会享受独处时，我们对自己选择的陪伴会变得更加仔细斟酌——只和那些改善我们生活、为我们幸福做出贡献的人在一起。

· Your confidence level can skyrocket 你的自信程度会飙升

“When you’re alone, there’s a strength that almost has to be there,” says Dr. Dardashti. “We tend to sometimes rely on our partners for a lot more than what we need to.” As a result, she says that being single provides an opportunity to tap into one’s inner strengths, which in turn can actually manifest in a greater level of confidence.

“当你独自一人时，有一种力量几乎是必须存在的，”达达什蒂博士说。“我们有时倾向于依赖我们的伴侣，这比我们所需要的要多得多。”因此，她说单身提供了一个利用自己内在力量的机会，而这反过来又可以在更大程度的自信中体现出来。

动词，表示“剧增；猛涨”，英文解释为“If prices or amounts skyrocket, they suddenly increase by a very large amount.”如：the skyrocketing costs of health care 暴涨的医疗费用。

manifest /ˈmæn.ɪ.fest/ 表示“显示；表现；表明”，英文解释为“to show something clearly, through signs or actions”举个🌰：

The illness first manifested itself in/as severe stomach pains.

这种疾病最初表现为严重的胃痛。

“Solitude breeds self-reflection, and self-reflection breed’s confidence,” adds Winter. “Absolute solitude is almost impossible when you’re in a partnership. We always have our partner in our thoughts.”

“孤独孕育自我反省，自我反省孕育自信，”温特补充道。“当你处在伴侣关系时，绝对的孤独几乎是不可能的。我们总是在想我们的伴侣。”

solitude /ˈsɒl.ɪ.tʃuːd/ 表示“独处，独居”，英文解释为“the situation of being alone without other people”如：a life of solitude 独居的生活。

And this confidence cultivated in solitude will eventually trickle into all of your relationships.

这种在孤独中培养的自信最终会渗透到你所有的关系中。

trickle /ˈtrɪk.əl/ 1）表示“（使）滴，淌，小股流淌”，英文解释为“to flow, or to make sth flow, slowly in a thin stream”举个🌰：

Tears were trickling down her cheeks.

眼泪顺着她的面颊流了下来。

2）表示“（使）慢慢走，缓慢移动”，英文解释为“to go, or to make sth go, somewhere slowly or gradually”举个🌰：

People began trickling into the hall.

人们开始缓步进入大厅。

“The best relationships occur when you have a good understanding of your needs, wants and values,” says Syrtash. “Being single allows you to focus on these things. Having this confidence and self-awareness will ultimately serve you in all of your relationships, not just romantic ones.”

“当你对自己的需求、愿望和价值观有很好的了解时，就会出现最好的关系，”西尔塔什说。“单身让你可以专注于这些事情。拥有这种自信和自我意识最终会在你所有的关系中为你服务，而不仅仅是浪漫的关系。”

- 今日盘点 -

a walk in the park

portray

purgatory

stereotype

uncluttered

intimacy

ruminate

inhibit

discord

all-consuming

turmoil

conversely

purge

clutter

roll with the punches

psychologist

self-sufficient

constraint

hinder

mission statement

recalibrate

reassess

optimal

viable

mindfulness

perk

incentivize

frugal

resourceful

ups and downs

caution

company

synonymous

liberating

skyrocket

manifest

solitude

breed

trickle

公众号后台对话框里发送：666

参与抽奖（10月1日0点开）

公众号后台对话框里发送：沙发

查看沙发计划，抢沙发拿奖励

公众号后台对话框里发送：打卡

参与每天持续行动打卡计划

公众号后台对话框里发送：提问

查看提问指南，不懂先查再问

- 推荐阅读 -

2022政府工作报告中英文对照注释版

为了这个合集，准备了整整1年8月

「LearnAndRecord」2021大盘点

写在七周年的话

- END -