你介意另一半从不做家务吗

近日，婚姻纪实观察真人秀节目《再见爱人》中的Lisa称艾威从来不帮自己做家务，艾威解释说家里是自己的心血，自己不知道从哪里开始做。

#你介意另一半从不做家务吗#的话题引发热议，你觉得呢？

🤔️小作业：

无注释原文：

How to Keep Housework From Hurting Your Marriage

From: Verywell Mind

September 14, 2022

When you or your partner is unhappy about the allocation of household chores, the stress level in your home can increase tremendously. Researchers have found that the unequal distribution of housework is one of the top stressors in many relationships. For example, one study found that wives reported that one of their top sources of stress was the fact that their husbands don't want to do their share of work around the house.

While such research often reflects how traditional gender roles influence household duties, the uneven distribution of housework is not limited to heterosexual married couples. Couples who cohabitate as romantic partners are often prone to the same problems. Same-sex couples tend to divide chores more equally, although evidence suggests that this tends to change somewhat once they have children.

What may matter more than whether unpaid labor is divided 50/50 is how each individual in the relationship feels about the division of household duties. Stress levels increase in your home when either of you is unhappy about unfinished chores. Couples fight over who does what around the house almost as much as they fight over money.

Surveys and studies consistently point out that even though many women work outside the home, they still tend to do most household chores. Evidence also indicates that this disparity was exacerbated significantly by the COVID-19 pandemic.

Reasons Why Housework May Not Be Evenly Distributed

In the past, the division of housework was generally attributed to differences in the labor force; men were more likely to work full-time outside the home while women were more likely to perform the unpaid labor of managing the household.

Despite shifts in these traditional roles and employment trends, evidence indicates that women are still primarily tasked with the physical and emotional labor of running a household and caring for a family.

What factors contribute to the uneven distribution of housework? Some that may play a part include:

Traditional Gender Roles

Gendered expectations for how men and women are expected to behave and the roles they are expected to play in a family often significantly influence how housework is divided. Chores that involve greater autonomy are often perceived as "men's" work, whereas repetitive, mundane chores (like doing laundry or dishes) are frequently viewed as "women's" work.

One study found that traditional gender roles were associated with imbalanced household contributions. This imbalance was also linked to increased work-family conflict.

Beliefs About Equality

Individual beliefs about how work should be divided can influence who performs certain household tasks. Evidence suggests that couples who believe the work should be evenly divided are happier than those who don't.

Social Policies

Social policies, such as lack of paid family leave and access to affordable healthcare, can also affect how household labor is divided. For example, the lack of paternity/maternity leave, affordable child care, and workplace protections for pregnant and nursing people can make it difficult for parents to take time off work during critical periods (such as after the birth of a child). It can also make it difficult for parents to return to the workforce.

Weaponized Incompetence

Weaponized incompetence involves pretending to be bad at tasks to avoid participating in shared responsibilities. Feigning ineptitude when it comes to housework such as folding laundry, loading the dishwasher, or tidying up rooms foists these duties onto the other partner, who often takes over to ensure that these necessary household chores are finished correctly.

It is a passive-aggressive way of avoiding housework and parenting duties, and it causes significant harm to relationships. The partner who does all these tasks feels alone, manipulated, and overworked. It also communicates that the person shirking their duties does not respect their partner enough to share the load. This impairs intimacy and makes it difficult for a person to feel that they can trust their partner.

Conclusion

The uneven distribution of housework can take a toll on your relationship, but there are steps you can take to create a more equitable household. Talk about what needs to be done with your partner and devise a plan that each person feels is fair. Tasks don't need to be divided perfectly down the middle, but it is important that each person feels that the tasks are shared in a way that is equitable to each person.

- ◆ -

注：中文文本为机器翻译仅供参考，并非一一对应

含注释原文：

How to Keep Housework From Hurting Your Marriage

From: Verywell Mind

September 14, 2022

When you or your partner is unhappy about the allocation of household chores, the stress level in your home can increase tremendously. Researchers have found that the unequal distribution of housework is one of the top stressors in many relationships. For example, one study found that wives reported that one of their top sources of stress was the fact that their husbands don't want to do their share of work around the house.

当你或你的伴侣对家务的分配不满意时，你们家里的压力就会大大增加。研究人员发现，家务分配不均是许多关系中最大的压力源之一。例如，一项研究发现，妻子们报告称，他们最大的压力来源之一是他们的丈夫不想在家里做他们份内的工作。

chore /tʃɔːr/ 表示“日常琐事；杂务；乏味的例行工作”，英文解释为“a job or piece of work that is often boring or unpleasant but needs to be done regularly”举个🌰：

I'll go shopping when I've done my chores (= done the jobs in or around the house).

我把家务琐事干完后要去购物。

tremendously /trɪˈmen.dəs.li/ 表示“巨大地；极好地”，英文解释为“to a very great amount or level, or extremely well”举个🌰：

We all enjoyed ourselves tremendously.

我们都玩得非常开心。

stressor /ˈstres.ər/ 表示“导致紧张（焦虑或担心）的事（物）”，英文解释为“something that causes stress (= great worry or emotional difficulty)”举个🌰：

Constant noise can be a stressor.

持久的噪音可能导致焦虑。

While such research often reflects how traditional gender roles influence household duties, the uneven distribution of housework is not limited to heterosexual married couples. Couples who cohabitate as romantic partners are often prone to the same problems. Same-sex couples tend to divide chores more equally, although evidence suggests that this tends to change somewhat once they have children.

尽管此类研究经常反映出传统的性别角色如何影响家务，但家务分配不均的现象并不局限于异性恋已婚夫妇。作为恋人同居的情侣往往容易遇到同样的问题。同性伴侣倾向于更平等地分担家务，尽管有证据表明，一旦他们有了孩子，这种情况往往会有所改变。

表示“同居”，英文解释为“to live or exist together or in company”

表示“易于（受某事物影响或做某事）的”，英文解释为“To be prone to something, usually something bad, means to have a tendency to be affected by it or to do it.”举个🌰：

For all her experience as a television reporter, she was still prone to camera nerves.

尽管有丰富的做电视记者的经验，她仍然倾向于在镜头前紧张。

What may matter more than whether unpaid labor is divided 50/50 is how each individual in the relationship feels about the division of household duties. Stress levels increase in your home when either of you is unhappy about unfinished chores. Couples fight over who does what around the house almost as much as they fight over money.

比无偿劳动是否按五五分更重要的是，关系中的每个人对家务分工的看法。当你们中的任何一个对未完成的家务不满意时，你们家里的压力就会增加。伴侣间为谁在家里做什么而争吵几乎和他们为钱而争吵一样多。

Surveys and studies consistently point out that even though many women work outside the home, they still tend to do most household chores. Evidence also indicates that this disparity was exacerbated significantly by the COVID-19 pandemic.

调查和研究一致指出，尽管许多女性在外工作，但她们仍然做了大多数家务。证据还表明，这种不平等现象因新冠疫情而大大加剧。

disparity /dɪˈspærɪtɪ/表示“（尤指不公正的）不同，差异”，英文解释为“a difference between two or more things, especially an unfair one”，如：a disparity between the rates of pay for men and women 男性与女性在工资水平上的差异。

相反的：

📍parity表示“（尤指薪金、权利或权力的）相同，相等，同等”，英文解释为“the state of being equal, especially having equal pay, rights, or power”举个🌰：

Women workers are demanding parity with their male colleagues.

女职工在要求与男同事享有同等的待遇。

还可以指两个不同国家的货币单位的“平价，等价”(equality between the units of money from two diffe-rent countries）；

📍2019年「妇女节」联合国秘书长发表讲话时，就提到：

📍在2018年政府工作报告中，居民收入增长和经济增长基本同步；就处理为：Basic parity in personal income growth and economic growth.

exacerbate /ɪɡˈzæsəˌbeɪt/ 表示“使恶化；使加重”，英文解释为“to make a bad situation worse”举个🌰：

She didn't want to exacerbate the situation.

她不想使情况变得更糟。

🎬电影《僵尸肖恩》（Shaun of the Dead）中的台词提到：And that will exacerbate things for all of us. 那会使我们事情恶化的。

Reasons Why Housework May Not Be Evenly Distributed

家务活可能分配不均的原因

In the past, the division of housework was generally attributed to differences in the labor force; men were more likely to work full-time outside the home while women were more likely to perform the unpaid labor of managing the household.

过去，家务分工通常归因于劳动力的差异；男性更有可能在外全职工作，而女性更有可能从事操持家务的无偿劳动。

Despite shifts in these traditional roles and employment trends, evidence indicates that women are still primarily tasked with the physical and emotional labor of running a household and caring for a family.

尽管这些传统角色和就业趋势发生了变化，但有证据表明，女性仍然主要承担操持家务和照顾家人的体力和情绪劳动。

What factors contribute to the uneven distribution of housework? Some that may play a part include:

哪些因素导致家务活分配不均？部分影响因素包括：

Traditional Gender Roles 传统性别角色

Gendered expectations for how men and women are expected to behave and the roles they are expected to play in a family often significantly influence how housework is divided. Chores that involve greater autonomy are often perceived as "men's" work, whereas repetitive, mundane chores (like doing laundry or dishes) are frequently viewed as "women's" work.

对男性和女性的表现以及他们在家庭中所扮演角色的性别化期望往往会极大地影响家务活的分工。涉及更大自主权的家务通常被视为“男性的”工作，而重复、平凡的家务（如洗衣服或洗碗）通常被视为“女性的”工作。

表示“自主，自主权”，英文解释为“the ability to make your own decisions without being controlled by anyone else”

mundane /ˈmʌndeɪn/ 表示“世俗的；单调的；平凡的”，英文解释为“very ordinary and therefore not interesting”举个🌰：

Mundane matters such as paying bills and shopping for food do not interest her.

她对付账单、购买食品等琐事不感兴趣。

One study found that traditional gender roles were associated with imbalanced household contributions. This imbalance was also linked to increased work-family conflict.

一项研究发现，传统的性别角色与不平衡的家庭贡献有关。这种不平衡也与工作与家庭冲突的增加有关。

Beliefs About Equality 关于平等的信念

Individual beliefs about how work should be divided can influence who performs certain household tasks. Evidence suggests that couples who believe the work should be evenly divided are happier than those who don't.

个人对工作分配的信念会影响到谁来完成某些家务。有证据表明，认为工作应该平均分配的夫妻比认为不应该的夫妻更幸福。

evenly /ˈiː.vən.li/ 表示“平均地；均等地”，英文解释为“in or into equal amounts”举个🌰：

Divide the mixture evenly between the baking pans.

将混合物分成等份放在烤盘中。

Social Policies 社会政策

Social policies, such as lack of paid family leave and access to affordable healthcare, can also affect how household labor is divided. For example, the lack of paternity/maternity leave, affordable child care, and workplace protections for pregnant and nursing people can make it difficult for parents to take time off work during critical periods (such as after the birth of a child). It can also make it difficult for parents to return to the workforce.

社会政策，如缺乏带薪探亲假和获得平价医保，也会影响家务活的分工。例如，缺乏陪产假/产假、负担得起的儿童护理，以及对孕妇和哺乳期妇女的工作场所保护，会使父母在关键时期（如孩子出生后）难以请假。这也会使父母难以重返工作岗位。

表示“探亲假”，英文解释为“a period of time allowed away from work in order to deal with a family situation such as taking care of a baby or an ill family member”

paternity leave /pəˈtɜː.nɪ.ti ˌliːv/ 表示“陪产假（法律上允许父亲离开工作的一段时间，以便他可以照顾他的、新生的婴儿）”，英文解释为“a period of time that a father is legally allowed to be away from his job so that he can spend time with his new baby”

maternity leave表示“产假”，英文解释为“a period of paid absence from work, in Britain currently six months, to which a woman is legally entitled during the months immediately before and after childbirth”。

Weaponized Incompetence “战术性无能”

Weaponized incompetence involves pretending to be bad at tasks to avoid participating in shared responsibilities. Feigning ineptitude when it comes to housework such as folding laundry, loading the dishwasher, or tidying up rooms foists these duties onto the other partner, who often takes over to ensure that these necessary household chores are finished correctly.

战术性无能包括假装不擅长家务，以避免参与分担责任。在做家务（如叠衣服、装洗碗机或整理房间）时假装无能，以便于把这些责任强加给另一方，后者不得不接手以确保正确完成这些必要的家务。

表示“无能力；不胜任，不称职”，英文解释为“lack of ability to do something successfully or as it should be done”举个🌰：

Management have demonstrated almost unbelievable incompetence in their handling of the dispute.

管理层在处理这一纠纷时显示出了令人难以置信的无能。

weaponized incompetence字面意思就是「把无能武器化，用无能武装自己」，指的就是故意表现得很无能以逃避完成某任务，比如洗碗时故意打破个碗，换来一句「你一边待着去吧越帮越忙！还不如我自己来」。

📍Also known as strategic incompetence, weaponized incompetence refers to a situation wherein a person pretends to be bad at doing something in order to get out of doing certain tasks.

表示“假装，装作，佯装（有某种感觉或生病、疲倦等）”，英文解释为“to pretend that you have a particular feeling or that you are ill/sick, tired, etc.”举个🌰：

One morning, I didn't want to go to school, and decided to feign illness.

一天早上，我不愿去上学，就决定装病。

ineptitude /ɪˈnep.tɪ.tʃuːd/ 表示“无能；笨拙；无效”，英文解释为“the fact of not being skilled or effective”举个🌰：

It was not angry bloggers that rendered the website inaccessible, but sheer technological ineptitude.

导致网站无法访问的不是愤怒的博主，而是纯粹的技术无能。

foist /fɔɪst/ sth on sb 表示“把…强加于（某人）”，英文解释为“to force someone to have or experience something they do not want”举个🌰：

I try not to foist my values on the children but it's hard.

我尽量不把我的价值观强加到孩子们头上，但是这并不容易。

It is a passive-aggressive way of avoiding housework and parenting duties, and it causes significant harm to relationships. The partner who does all these tasks feels alone, manipulated, and overworked. It also communicates that the person shirking their duties does not respect their partner enough to share the load. This impairs intimacy and makes it difficult for a person to feel that they can trust their partner.

这是一种逃避家务和养育责任的消极对抗方式，它对人际关系造成了重大伤害。承担所有这些家务的伴侣感到孤独、被操纵且过度劳累。这也传达了推卸责任的人不够尊重他们的伴侣来分担负担。这损害了亲密关系，让人难以感觉到他们可以信任自己的伴侣。

passive-aggressive /ˌpæs.ɪv.əˈɡres.ɪv/ 表示“消极抵抗的”，英文解释为“showing an unwillingness to be helpful or friendly, without expressing your anger openly”如：passive-aggressive behaviour 消极抵抗的行为。

shirk /ʃɜːk/ 表示“逃避（尤指困难或令人不快的工作、责任等）”，英文解释为“to avoid work, duties, or responsibilities, especially if they are difficult or unpleasant”举个🌰：

If you shirk your responsibilities/duties now, the situation will be much harder to deal with next month.

如果你现在逃避责任的话，情况到了下个月只会变得更难处理。

表示“损害；削弱，损伤”，英文解释为“If something impairs something such as an ability or the way something works, it damages it or makes it worse.”举个🌰：

The illness had impaired his ability to think and concentrate.

这种疾病损害了他的思维能力和注意力。

Conclusion

结论

The uneven distribution of housework can take a toll on your relationship, but there are steps you can take to create a more equitable household. Talk about what needs to be done with your partner and devise a plan that each person feels is fair. Tasks don't need to be divided perfectly down the middle, but it is important that each person feels that the tasks are shared in a way that is equitable to each person.

家务分配不均会对你们的关系造成损害，不过你们可以采取一些措施来营造一个更平等的家庭。与你的伴侣讨论需要做什么，并制定一个每个人都觉得公平的计划。任务不需要完美地分成两半，但重要的是，每个人都觉得分担方式对每个人都是公平的。

表示“造成损失（或伤亡、破坏）；产生负面影响”，英文解释为“If something takes its/a toll, it causes suffering, deaths, or damage.”举个🌰：

The problems of the past few months have taken their toll on her health and there are shadows under her eyes.

过去几个月里的问题影响了她的健康，她眼睛出现了黑眼圈。

📍去年意大利约1万名医学生免除考试 投入抗疫一线文中，路透社（Reuters）报道就提到：The epidemic has so far taken a relatively light toll on Italy's main cities, 到目前为止，新冠疫情对意大利主要城市造成的损失相对较小，

📍equitable表示“公平合理的；公正的”，英文解释为“fair and reasonable; treating everyone in an equal way”

类似的还有：

📍 fair表示“公平的；公正的”，英文解释为“Something or someone that is fair is reasonable, right, and just.”

📍 just作形容词，表示“公正的；正义的；正当的；合理的”，英文解释为“that most people consider to be morally fair and reasonable”，如：a just decision/law/society 公正的决定/法律/社会；

📍 impartial表示“公正的；不偏不倚的；中立的”，英文解释为“Someone who is impartial is not directly involved in a particular situation, and is therefore able to give a fair opinion or decision about it.”如：an impartial inquiry 公正的调查。

📍 unbiased表示“无偏见的；公正的”，英文解释为“If you describe someone or something as unbiased, you mean they are fair and not likely to support one particular person or group involved in something.”如：unbiased advice 客观的忠告。

devise表示“想出，设计，发明（新的方法）”，英文解释为“to plan or invent a new way of doing something”，如：devise a plan/system/machine，举个🌰：

She devised a method for quicker communications between offices.

她想出一种加快办公室之间通信联络的方法。

区分：

📍revise1）表示“改变；修正，修改”，英文解释为“to change something because of new information or ideas”，如：revise the article/revise the plan；

2）表示“（考试）温习，复习”，英文解释为“to study facts again, in order to learn them before an examination”，举个🌰：

Revising for exams gives you a chance to bring together all the individual parts of the course.

考前复习给你一个把课程各独立部分融会贯通的机会。

divide/split (sth) down the middle 表示“（把…）分成相等的两部分；平分”，英文解释为“to separate, or to divide something, into two equal parts”举个🌰：

Let's split the cost right down the middle.

我们均摊费用吧。

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