Taghrid Bou Merhi [Lebanon]

My philosophy (and other two poems]

Every time I talk about philosophy, I feel that I am a vile worm that gnaws at the bones of existentialism,

and when I realize the triviality of my speech,

I suddenly find that I have turned into an annoying fly that disturbs my thoughts or delusions.

Come with me if you want it is not an easy choice. 

The distance that separates us is between double brackets, watching for the extinction of the digital lineage.

And since I cannot change the first names, and being an easy prey,

I will seize the opportunity and pass through your exalted being.

Where should I put your sticky mud,

and the shortest distance between the murderer and the murdered for a blind gasp!

It is wise to wait for another philosopher to come out of the fog in order to listen to him together.

Perhaps his voice would be more beautiful than his white teeth,

And his hand would be wide, like the balcony of our back house.

Come on, we ask for a cup of water.  

We pretend to count the stars, and gather the remaining dust in the sky.

And because you are my oil philosophy,

We supported from old tricks, fictional films, fortune tellers, war planes and warplanes, and spirited cars. 

 It dug deep that damned worm, until the consciousness became a joke, and at the time there were slopes.

Fake happiness…

After I said Yes,

I felt like I am gambling,

For wrapping my feelings with a fake happiness.

I didn’t notice how he released a deep breath he was holding!

There is no point in ignoring the Truth, after her veins dried up from deep thinking!!!

I don’t know what scared me most, his long breath or the worrying Yes!!!

When he held my hand,

He didn’t ask why are my fingers cold!.

I am going to sleep in stranger’s arms tonight,

My misfortune crumbles in front of rough laughters…

I will sleep before my anger beats me, and before notice how exhausted the room’s walls are…

For the first time, i will sleep snuggled to a halo of fake happiness.

I will transcend the taste of sin, as long as my white dress is very elegant.

I will be satisfied with my cold fingers while they show  their surprise in the middle of darkness.

As if they never existed!

As if I never existed!

Like I still hear his deep breathing!

I still hear the word Yes!

The hour has passed the half way breathing, and it has fallen asleep!!!

Stupidity and emptiness

I used to invoke stupidity to justify your existence in my life.

And My heart used to advise me every time to go on with my stupidity with some coolness.

So I built a barrier between me and myself, that pushed me to join the void.

I had to open my heart to an old picture embedded in the walls’s protrusions,

And to scratch its flesh with the nails of memory, may it lift me up so that I may avoid its evil.

I learned that the divisions of stupidity can be gained through pain, 

And features become like papers, connect its alphabet and polish it like a professional poet.

When things started to shrink, and my troubled heart began to accompany my features to the stage,

I was afraid to lose the bet and lose my polluted stupidity

and lose you as I lost my ugly doll when I was a child.

I started hearing the screaming of my features whenever I lost part of my stupidity.

It is said that since then, I have stopped in the visible range, as a statue that has lost its being…

塔格里德·布·梅尔希[黎巴嫩]

我的哲学（外二首）

每次我谈论哲学时，我都觉得自己是一只啃着存在主义骨头的卑鄙虫子。

当我意识到自己的说辞过于零碎时，

我突然发现自己变成了一只烦人的苍蝇，它扰乱了我的思维或幻觉。

如果你愿意仿照我的路径，这不是一个容易的选择。

我们被两个括号隔开了一段距离，观察着数码系脉的更迭。

既然我不能改变众多（事物）的首个名字，而作为一个易被俘获的猎物，

我会抓住机会，穿过你的高贵之气场。

我该把你粘稠软泥放置哪里，

“凶手”和“被谋杀者”之间的间隔很短，不过是“一阵隐藏了的喘息！”

明智的做法是：等待另一位哲人从迷雾中走出来，然后一起听听他的看法。

也许他的声音会比他洁白的牙齿更有美感，

也许他的手会很宽，就像我们后院的阳台一样。

来吧，让我们喝点水。

我们假装数星星，收集天空中残余的灰尘。

因为你是我痴迷的“油腻性哲学”，

我们从古老的把戏、虚构的电影、算命师、战斗机和动力十足的车辆获得支持。

那可恶的虫子（在我脑中）挖掘得很深，直到意识变成了一个笑话，而且还立于坡度之上。

虚假的幸福……

在我说“是”之后，

我觉得我在赌博，

用虚假的幸福包裹我的感情。

我没留意到他是如何屏住深呼吸的！

在她的血脉因深思而干涸之后，忽视真相是没有意义的！！！

我不知道什么最让我害怕，他的深呼吸或者那令人担忧的事？是的！！！

他握住我的手时，

没有问我为什么手指那么冷！。

今晚，我要睡在陌生人的怀里，

在粗鲁的笑声面前，我不幸地崩溃了……

在我的愤怒打败我之前、在注意到房间的墙壁是多么的疲惫之前，我就去睡觉……

我将第一次依偎在虚假幸福的光环下睡觉。

只要我的白色连衣裙非常优雅，我就不再有罪恶的感觉。

当他们在黑暗中表现出惊讶时，我对我冰冷的手指感到满意。

仿佛他们从未存在过！

仿佛我从未存在过！

就像我还听到他的深呼吸！

我仍然听到“是”这个词！

在“呼吸”中，半个小时已经过去了，它已经进入睡眠状态了！！！

愚蠢和空虚

我曾经用愚蠢来证明你在我生命中的存在。

我的心每次都冷静地都劝我继续我的愚蠢。

所以我在我和我自己之间建立了一道屏障，这促使我进入了虚空。

我不得不敞开心扉，欣赏嵌在墙上凸起处的一幅老照片，

用记忆的指甲去触碰它的肉体，祈望它把我举起来，使我避开它的邪恶。

我明白了不同的愚蠢可能源自不同的痛苦

这些特征就像纸一样，连接字母表，像专业诗人一样打磨抛光（文字）。

当事情开始缩小，我那颗困扰的心开始带着我的个人特点走向舞台，

我害怕输掉赌注，害怕失去我那不单纯的愚蠢，

害怕失去你，正如我失去了我小时候的丑娃娃玩具。

每当我失去一部分愚蠢的时候，我就开始听到自己本质性的尖叫声。

据说从那时起，我就停在了可见的范围内，成为一尊失去存在的雕像……

            （林巧儿 译；Tr. Lina moon）

About the authior:

    Taghrid Bou Merhi is a Lebanese poetess, writer, and translator living in Brazil. She holds a Law degree and is ambassador of the team “International Cultural Salon Association” and ambassador of Brazil in the American P.L.O.T.S. Magazin. Member of prestigious platform Of WWWU World Nations Writers’ Union Kazakhstan. She won the Nizar Sartawi International Translator Award for Creativity 2021 in the field of translation and literature. She is an advisor to the countries Al-Sham literary platform for literary translation. She won the 2nd Annual Zhengxin International Poet Award 2022. Editor of Al-Arabe Today, Rainbow, Literária Agareed, Al-Nil Walfurat, Literária and Allaylak Magazine. Fluent in Arabic (native language), French, English, Portuguese, Italian and Spanish. Her poems have been published in numerous international anthologies’ various Literary magazines, journals and websites. Her poems have been translated into more than 24 languages. Her books include: 1. Songs of longing; 2.The Keys of Science: Verses and Manifestations; 3. Philosophies at the Edge of the Soul; 4. Flowers Of Love; 5. Wounds of the heart; 6. La Esperanza (Under Review).7. Mine Is Not Mine.

作者简介：

  塔格里德•布•梅尔希（Taghrid Bou Merhi），居住在巴西的黎巴嫩女诗人、作家和翻译家。她拥有法律学位，是“国际文化沙龙协会”社团的大使，也是巴西期刊P.L.O.T.S. 驻美国大使。也是哈萨克斯坦著名平台WWWU“世界作家联盟”的成员。2021，她在翻译和文学领域获得了尼扎尔·萨塔维国际翻译创意奖。她是Al Sham国家文学翻译平台的顾问。她获得了2022年第二届Zhengxin国际诗人奖。她是杂志《今日阿拉伯之Al 》《彩虹》，Literária Agared，Al Nil Walfurt，Literári和Allaylak的编辑，她精通阿拉伯语（母语）、法语、英语、葡萄牙语、意大利语和西班牙语。她的诗歌发表在诸多国际文集，以及各种文学杂志、期刊和网站上。她的诗歌被翻译成24种以上的语言。她已经出版的书包括：1. 渴望之歌；2. 科学的关键：诗歌与表现；3.灵魂边缘的哲学；4. 爱之花；5. 心灵的创伤；6. 希望庄园（La Esperanza）（修订中）；7. 我的不是我的。