朗读 | 下一世，我想倒着活

作　　者：Woody Allen

中文译者：岛主·Sean

本文转自“麦格兰岛”

朗读：Flora

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In my next life I want to live my life backwards. 

下一世，我想倒着活。

You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. 

刚开始，你是死人，一切故事从此开始。接着，你在一家老人院醒来，一天一天精力日渐充沛。

You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day.

后来，你因为太过健康而被踢了出来，领好你的养老金，然后开始工作。在工作的第一天就有人给你举办派对，并获赠一块金表。

You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. 

接下来，你会工作40年，一直到年纪太轻了，只好开始退休生活。

You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school. You become a kid. You play. You have no responsibilities. You become a baby until you are born.

于是你每日派对，花天酒地。转眼就到了上中学的年纪。接着上小学，再接着变成小孩，每玩乐，没有责任要负，直到最后，你变成一个婴儿，降入人生。

And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!

然后你在SPA一样的环境中漂浮着度过最后的九个月，房间有中央空调，更有随叫随到的客房服务。同时，你的生存空间越变越大。最后，“咣”，你在高潮中结束一生！